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Jesus Pets – You’ve Got to be Kidding!

6th May 2007

Worried about who will take fido for a walk after you are raptured? Want to make sure your kitty cat is cared for after it’s “left behind”? All premillenialist pet-lovers should check out this site:


Who is going to care for your pets after you are raptured into heaven?

Many Christians believe that animals do not go to heaven. So when Jesus comes back and you return with him to heaven, will there be somebody to take care of your dog or cat?

If you have a non-Christian family member, they might take care of your pet, but if not, have you made any plans? Imagine being taken to streets of gold while your dog starves to death walking around in his own feces trapped in your small house or apartment, subject to fire and earthquakes or even being eaten by heathens searching for any remaining morsel of food. Do you want that to happen?

With the imminent collapse of the global economy and rampant godlessness, even the community shelters will not have the resources to care for your poor, hungry animals. So you need to make preparations.

That’s what JesusPets is for. We are assembling a community of heathen pet-lovers to care for pets that are “left-behind.� We are coordinating with feed mills and kennels in preparation for your post-apocalyptic pet care needs.

Check it out for yourself:

I’m sure glad as an amillenialist I don’t have to worry about what my two pet bunnies will have to face after the rapture!

(HT Faith & Theology)

3 Responses to “Jesus Pets – You’ve Got to be Kidding!”

  1. D. P. Says:

    Great idea! Withhold the gospel from a select group of people so they can watch after your pets during the apocalypse! No mixed-up priorities there!

  2. Dr. Platypus » Blog Archive » I’d Tell You About Jesus, But Who Would Take Care of Fluffy? Says:

    [...] I used to be a dispensationalist, but those beliefs have long since been, um, left behind. I’m pretty sure, however, that even when I expected a secret rapture of the church, I would have been more concerned for the lost humans who would have to endure the tribulation period than I would for the pets formerly owned by believers. [...]

  3. Leah JW Says:

    I never realized until this weekend, when I watched “Left Behind”, that there was actually a verb ‘rapture’ (I always assumed it was a noun).