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Archive for the 'Humour' Category

Jesus Sighted on Dog’s Derrière

26th September 2006

OK, this is too much! One of the most recent Jesus sightings is on the backside of a three-year-old terrier mix named Angus MacDougall.

Click here to see for yourself.

(HT Bits & Pieces)

Posted in Humour, Jesus Sighting, Popular Culture | 2 Comments »

Where’s Jesus? Ask Jimmy Kimmel…

16th September 2006


According to Jimmy Kimmel, “Jesus really is everywhere!” (And I thought he was Jewish!) Just the other night Jimmy Kimmel had a special clip about Jesus sightings called “Where’s Jesus?” It was rather funny — there have been sightings of Jesus in rocks, wood panelling, fish sticks, mugs, pancakes, ceiling tiles, MRIs, pumpkins, dental x-rays, among other things. You can watch the segment here.

Jim West also noted another Jesus sighting… this time in the foam at the bottom of a pint of beer.

Posted in Humour, Jesus Sighting | Comments Off

This is really funny…

13th September 2006

This is really funny.

Beware of little old ladies…

(HT Looking Closer Journal)


Posted in Humour | Comments Off

Dr. Seuss Learns Greek

12th September 2006

My previous post, “Abbott and Costello Learn Hebrew,” seems to have been a hit, so I thought I would post a reading that I use when I teach Koine Greek. This has its origins in my days as a student at Regent College in Vancouver, B.C. I can’t recall who originally wrote it, but I have had a copy that I have edited through the years.

Feel free to use it with attribution (“Got this from Tyler Williams who got it from someone at Regent College”!). If I find out who wrote the original I will post it. Enjoy.

Dr. Seuss Learns Greek


Do you like to study Greek?

I do not like to study Greek
Whoever does becomes a geek.

Will you study here? or there?

I will not study here or there
I will not study anywhere.

Would you study in your room?

Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there
Not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

Would you study at a table?
Would you, would you, if you’re able?

I will not study at a table,
I will not study, though I’m able
I do not like that Greek you see
At college or at seminary
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

Would you study in the rain?
Would you like to use your brain?

Not in the rain
Not with my brain
Stop please stop
Don’t ask again

Would you, could you on term break?
Do it for the gospel’s sake?

I will not do it on term break
Not even for the gospel’s sake
I do not like to memorize
Those funny letters hurt my eyes
Not in the rain
Not with my brain
Not at a table
Though I’m able
Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there
Not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

You may like it, you will see
Try studying Greek in a tree.

I would not, could not in a tree
Not on term break
Quit bugging me!
What?! Use my brain?
Not at a table
Though I’m able
Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there
Not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

Take Greek this term
Without apology
Drop Systematic Theology

Perhaps for you, but not for me
Greek isn’t practical, you see
I’d rather learn to fix transmissions
I’m a candidate for missions

Would you take it in the summer?
Six weeks of verbs won’t make you dumber
You might like the paradigms
Repeating lists five thousand times

I would not, could not in the summer
For six whole weeks–what a bummer!
I will not drop another class
My GPA!! I might not pass
I will not study Greek at all
Not in summer, not in fall

You don’t like Greek
That’s what I’m hearing

You won’t get lost!
That’s what I’m fearing!

Could you not learn three small words?

Not three
Not two
Not even one
Too much pain
Not much gain
Against my grain

Do you think Greek is for the birds?

Not for birds, perhaps for nerds
I will not learn it
It ain’t fun
Not three, not two
Not even one
I will not study Greek at all
Not in summer, not in fall
I’d rather take Christology
Or Gypsy Numerology
Not in the rain
Not with my brain
I will not study in a tree
Get off my case and let me be!
Not at a table
Though I’m able
Not in my room
Not in a tomb
Not here or there, not anywhere
I do not want to study Greek
I do not want to be a geek.

You do not like it, so you say
Try it, try it, and you may
Try it and you may, I say

O.K., if you will let me be
I will try it, watch and see
Λεγω, λεγεις, λεγει, λεγομεν
I can’t do this stuff — Amen!

Say it again
Forget “amen”
You will do better
If you say each letter

Λεγετε, λεγει, λεγεις, λεγω
I think I’ve got it!
Do you think so?

Now you’ve got it!
You’re on your way
A Bible scholar
Some future day
Without a dollar
And hair all grey
If you pass Greek intro
To Greek exegesis you will go
And if you really want some fun
You can take Greek until you’re done
Then it’s Hebrew
I will teach you

Λεγετε, λεγω, λεγεις, λεγει
Those few verbs and I’m on my way
Learning Greek is so much fun
Barely started, and I’m almost done
Now I’ll learn those paradigms
Repeat vocab a million times
Cards on a ring
Will be my thing
In the summer, in the fall
I’ll do it any time at all
I’ll switch Greek for other classes
No one hits a geek with glasses
I will study in a tree
Now I know Greek is for me
I will do a PhD
I will study on term break
Greek will be a piece of cake
I will study in the rain
Let conjugations fill my brain
I will study at a table
Learn the aorist since I’m able
I will study in my room
Morning, night and afternoon
I will study here and there
I will study EVERYwhere
I do so love to study Greek
I will be a first class geek!

Posted in Greek, Humour, Teaching & Learning | 7 Comments »

Abbott & Costello Learn Hebrew

7th September 2006

I am not sure where I got this little sketch written by Rabbi Jack Moline, but I always enjoy doing it in my introductory Hebrew course in the first couple weeks of classes (I also have a Dr. Seuss Learns Greek which is quite funny).

Abbott & Costello Learn Hebrew


ABBOTT: I see you’re here for your Hebrew lesson.

COSTELLO: I’m ready to learn.

ABBOTT: Now, the first thing you must understand is that Hebrew and English have many words which sound alike, but they do not mean the same thing.

COSTELLO: Sure, I understand.

ABBOTT: Now, don’t be too quick to say that.

COSTELLO: How stupid do you think I am – don’t answer that. It’s simple – some words in Hebrew sound like words in English, but they don’t mean the same.

ABBOTT: Precisely.

COSTELLO: We have that word in English, too. What does it mean in Hebrew?

ABBOTT: No, no. Precisely is an English word.

COSTELLO: I didn’t come here to learn English, I came to learn Hebrew. So make with the Hebrew.

ABBOTT: Fine. Let’s start with mee.


ABBOTT: No, mee.

COSTELLO: Fine, we’ll start with you.

ABBOTT: No, we’ll start with mee.

COSTELLO: Okay, have it your way.

ABBOTT: Now, mee is who.

COSTELLO: You is Abbott.

ABBOTT: No, no, no. Mee is who.

COSTELLO: You is Abbott.

ABBOTT: You don’t understand.

COSTELLO: I don’t understand? Did you just say me is who?

ABBOTT: Yes I did. Mee is who.

COSTELLO: You is Abbott.

ABBOTT: No, you misunderstand what I am saying. Tell me about mee.

COSTELLO: Well, you’re a nice enough guy.

ABBOTT: No, no. Tell me about mee!


ABBOTT: Precisely.

COSTELLO: Precisely what?

ABBOTT: Precisely who.

COSTELLO: It’s precisely whom!

ABBOTT: No, mee is who.

COSTELLO: Don’t start that again – go on to something else.

ABBOTT: All right. Hu is he.

COSTELLO: Who is he?


COSTELLO: I don’t know. Who is he?

ABBOTT: Sure you do. You just said it.

COSTELLO: I just said what?

ABBOTT: Hu is he.

COSTELLO: Who is he?

ABBOTT: Precisely.

COSTELLO: Again with the precisely! Precisely who?

ABBOTT: No, precisely he.

COSTELLO: Precisely he? Who is he?

ABBOTT: Precisely!

COSTELLO: And what about me?


COSTELLO: me, me, me!

ABBOTT: Who, who, who!

COSTELLO: What are you, an owl? Me! Who is me?

ABBOTT: No, hu is he!

COSTELLO: I don’t know, maybe he is me!

ABBOTT: No, hee is she!

COSTELLO: (STARE AT ABBOTT) Do his parents know about this?

ABBOTT: About what?

COSTELLO: About her!

ABBOTT: What about her?

COSTELLO: That she is he!

ABBOTT: No, you’ve got it wrong – hee is she!

COSTELLO:’ Then who is he?

ABBOTT: Precisely!







COSTELLO: Who is she?

ABBOTT: No, hu is he.

COSTELLO: I don’t care who is he, I want to know who is she?

ABBOTT: No, that’s not right.

COSTELLO: How can it not be right? I said it. I was standing here when I said it, and I know me.



ABBOTT: Precisely!

COSTELLO: Me! Me is that he you are talking about! He is me!

ABBOTT: No, hee is she!

COSTELLO: Wait a Minute, wait a minute! I’m trying to learn a little Hebrew, and now I can’t even speak English. Let me review.

ABBOTT: Go ahead.

COSTELLO: Now first You want to know me is who.

ABBOTT: Correct.

COSTELLO: And then you say who is he.

ABBOTT: Absolutely.

COSTELLO: And then you tell me he is she.


COSTELLO: Now look at this logically. If me is who, and who is he, and he is she, don’t it stand to reason that me is she?



ABBOTT: That is he!

COSTELLO: Who is he?


COSTELLO: I have just about had it. You have me confused I want to go home. You know what I want? Ma!


COSTELLO: I said Ma.


COSTELLO: What are you, deaf? I want Ma!


COSTELLO: Not what, who!


COSTELLO: Not he! Ma is not he!

ABBOTT: Of course not! Hu is he!

COSTELLO: I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t care. I don’t care who is he, he is she, me is who, ma is what. I just want to go home now and play with my dog.


Posted in Hebrew, Humour, Teaching | 9 Comments »

New U2 Single Released!

5th September 2006

I mentioned the rumours that U2 was heading into the studio this fall here.

As it turns out they released a new single already! Check it out here.

(HT Looking Closer)

Posted in Humour, Music Videos, News, Popular Culture, U2 | 1 Comment »

Mega Churches Kick Out Members and More – LarkNews 4/9

4th September 2006

The September 2006 edition of LarkNews is online. This issue has a feature about a mega-church that has decided to downsize by kicking out members, among other stories. Read it all for yourself here.

Posted in Humour, News | 2 Comments »

Do Religious Jokes and Puppets Mix?

1st September 2006

I wouldn’t think that religious jokes and puppets mix, but I have been proved wrong by those over at, who have daily jokes told by puppets (which you can view via video). And not just any puppets — these are puppets from different religious backgrounds with all the appropriate (stereotypical) garb. The Jewish Rabbi is wearing a yarmulke and a tallit, the Catholic nun is in full habit, the Muslim Iman comes complete with a kufi hat, and the Hindu guru has wild hair. The puppet troupe is called the Jovialites and you can even help name each of the characters.

You can view the joke of the day here.

Posted in Humour, Jesus Junk & Christian Kitsch, Popular Culture | Comments Off

Star Trek Inspirational Posters

30th August 2006

Stephen Martin, my friend over at The King’s University College here in Edmonton, sent me this link to some humorous Star Trek Inspirational Posters. I think this is my favourite:


Posted in Humour, Popular Culture | 1 Comment »


27th August 2006

I do not want to make any political statement on the Middle East conflict or the politics of the BBC, but as someone who has watched more than enough Teletubbies to ensure no time in purgatory, when I saw this I just had to post it!


(HT Kesher Talk)

Posted in Humour, Popular Culture | Comments Off