Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 1 – Classic Kitsch

Yesterday’s blog entries on “Glory Golf balls” (see here and here) represent only the tip of the Christian retailing iceberg. There is a tonne of “Jesus Junk” available in local Christian book stores and online. Some of it is sincere, while some is obviously tongue-in-cheek. This will be the first in a series of blog entries on “Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch.” In this first one I will highlight some of what I consider some of the “classic” food products.


These are classic “Jesus Junk.” These are available in Wintergreen, Spearmint, Peppermint and sport a Scripture verse on each wrapper. The distributor’s web page suggests that you “place on a desk to surprise a friend or co-worker” among other things. These are meant to be sincere witnessing products. They also sell “Scripture Bars” which are chocolate bars with Bible verses on the wrappers, as well as “Testamints Gum.”

Bible Bar

Another classic, these all-natural nutritional bars are made from the list of foods that are called good in Deuteronomy 8:7-8: “For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey.” According to one distributor,

Each bar is bursting with God-given nutrients: protein, monounsaturated fats, complex carbohydrates, vitamins, minerals, enzymes, phytonutrients, and fiber. But yet, it is so much more than just a health bar. God obviously had some very important reasons for linking these seven foods to the Promised Land. Therefore, when you eat a Bible Bar, you are consuming seven foods that God called good and in a form that is easy and convenient to use.

Now, not that I want to be picky, but if you are going to base your recipe on God’s word, then I think you should have it right! The main advertised ingredients of these “Bible Bars” are wheat, barley, raisins, figs, pomegranates, olive oil, and honey. Taking “vines” as raisins is a bit of a stretch since ‏גֶ֥פֶן typically refers to grapes or grape-bearing vines. Raisins would be referred to as ‏‏צִמֻּקִ֖ים Moreover, an examination of the ingredients, you will also discover that in addition to these seven foods, they also include brown rice syrup, brown rice, almond butter, raspberry fruit powder, and sea salt! Sounds to me like they are on a slippery slope! Logia, the manufacturer, also makes other tasty snacks by the names of “Abraham’s Bosom Sunflower Bar,” “Rachel’s Delight Sesame Honey Bar,” ” King David’s Treat Cranberry Nut Bar,” among others.

Bible Gum

Witness in two languages while blowing bubbles! A pouch of this classic Christian treat consists of two pieces of gum with a small card containing a Bible question on one side and the answer on the other side, as well as where to locate it in the Bible. Cards are printed in English and Spanish. According to its manufacturer,

Bible Gum stimulates, promotes, and reinforces interest in the Bible regardless of religious upbringing. “The Bible is for everyone!” Bible Gum, in it’s non-threatening, non-judgmental format, is a wonderful way to introduce the “scripturally threatened” individual to one of humanity’s most powerful and revered historical and spiritual compiling. Bible Gum “breaks the ice.”

Make sure to get yours today!

Some Thoughts

What should we make of these examples of Christian kitsch? Well, on the one hand these products appear to be well-meaning attempts to witness to people, akin to Bible tracts. Of course, if you have problems with tracts, then you will have the same problems with this sort of stuff. Perhaps more disturbing how they represent a trivialization and commercialization of the faith. That being said, Christian retailing is big business with sales exceeding three billion dollars annually in the U.S. People are buying this stuff!

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5 Responses to Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 1 – Classic Kitsch

  1. Pingback: Codex Blogspot » Blog Archive » Jesus Junk and Christian Kitsch, Volume 2

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  3. Dave Dekleer says:

    Thank you so much for speaking out against TESTAMINTS! Everytime I see them at Christian store check out stands I puke in my mouth and then need a mint to freshen up! Good thing they’re readily available! I also despise church signs… prime material for your ‘junk pile’… thanks, Dave

  4. Mike says:

    So, you think Testamints are pretty dumb? Too bad you talk before you know the facts. Have you ever spoken to the fellow who invented them? Did you ever find out what his reason was for the mints? Did you ever ask him what positive things have happened as a result fo them? Track down the fellow who invented them, and you’ll find out the real reason for them. Maybe you don’t like them, but then the Pharisees didn’t like Jesus either…

  5. Jeremy says:

    I think the entire idea of creating things that specifically cater to any one group of idealistic believers is absolutely ridiculous and uncalled for in an actual working and liveable society. I think that each and every one of these products, regardless of the “testimonies” the founders make about them, are causing nothing more than segregation in more ways than even the so called church could ever begin to manage. How successful do you think a Satan Sandwich would be? Or better yet how about a Muslim Muffin? I mean seriously people, can we think outside of this tiny little box and realize that if it were not for foolish men and women who do not actually think or process thoughts, we would never have a church. People who do not suffer or need help do not fall for this weak attempt to brainwash even the ignorant… ya think? Sometimes people say that certain groups of people will burn in a hell because they do not believe in one story… Weird Not to mention, if I may quote one before me…”DEE DEE DEE!!!!”

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